MEMORIES OF BETTY
met a few people like Betty in your life, but only a few. You know them
they brighten a room just by walking into it. You see that person
and know that this is a beneficial spirit I will benefit from knowing.
I met Betty on April Fools Day 1976 at Pastor Thunder's Church in Carson
City. Yes, his name actually was Reverend Thunder. I was emceeing a
community fashion show and she was the coordinator. She handed me some
cue cards to use as certain items came up.
The writing was so good that I soon found myself doing standup comedy
rather than introducing the latest in ladies wear.
Betty's smile and sense of humor cross-cut her every waking hour.
She never stopped seeking the new, the cutting edge. For almost 30 years,
she pleasantly put up with a guy with a time-wasting desire to watch
old movies more than once.
"I've seen it" was her very practical response when I suggested
something like "Casablanca." She didn't like to travel the
same path twice.
She thought the 1970's were the greatest period for rock 'n' roll but
was also a big fan of Eminem. Yes, my wife was a hip-hop aficionado.
Betty couldn't wait for each Tuesday's publication of the New York Times
science section. She was very into the latest in electronic gadgets
and passed that passion to her children.
We were both fascinated with the latest in physics. Superstring theory
seems to answer so many questions and offers a bridge between faith
and science. It calculates that there are 11 dimensions, maybe more,
most of which we cannot see. Over 90 percent of the known universe consists
of something termed "dark matter" which we have yet to find
a way to analyze. That dark matter interlards and cross-cuts everything
Perhaps science has finally formed the first rough picture of God, something
Betty figured out long ago.
The next dimension is perhaps just one tiny vibration away, right next
Everyone is a bit of energy in this huge tapestry, call it what you
will, God or the universe. Without each and every tiny part, that tapestry
is incomplete, Betty once told me.
She advised living life to the fullest because you will only wear this
suit of clothes once. There is no death, you just enter an alternative
form of existence. You may come back here, you may not.
Live well, with laughter.
As e.e. cummings put it, "There's a hell of a good universe next
door. Let's go!"
WROTE THE FOLLOWING ON JULY 8, 1997
at the good in yourself rather than the negative. Don't look at what
you haven't done, look toward what you have and can do.
Many people get comfortably through life with hard work, never taking
chances and just being determined not to make waves. This isn't what's
right for all, but good for them. They will raise kids with self-esteem
and security and that's very commendable.
Some people flit through life never being serious in love or labor but
only looking for leisure. They usually take from others and leave a
void but this may be what's right for them.
There's really no right or wrong in life except where it comes to space.
You have yours coupled with your time and if you waste it, you'll probably
have to repeat it until it gets you who you need to be. It's really
your script and if you're happy with your life, so be it.
But if you suddenly feel the middle point in life is leaving you unfulfilled,
its time to maybe evaluate how you're living your life. I, personally,
have life giving me a very warm feeling now and it's mainly due to seeing
what's good and right around me and pulling strength from the positive
not depleting myself by grinding the negative.
And I found the way to do this goes all the way back to my childhood
when I had to learn the 10 Commandments. The God thing is super strength
if you need it and believe it. Love is a power unlike any other.
If I were you, I'd start keeping a small journal (not the computer)
and take note each day in how you are blessed. It'll add up fast and
as it grows, so will you.
If you meditate, pray or chant with the idea of wanting to change your
life, it will happen.
Be sure and make it quality time and try and start out each morning
and end each evening with this. Look for joy, even ecstasy, because
diligent devotion will result in great feelings.
And be patient while adapting this process. Put as much time into this
as you wish, but keep in mind it's going to change you and soon
the skeptical and cynical will yield to a renewed enthusiasm where your
life's work is concerned.
I love you. Let me help you. Be patient with me as I get carried away
and may seem pushy. I just want you to feel fulfilled and renewed and
make it as painless but as genuinely real as possible.
The above was read by Rev. William Chrystal at Betty's memorial service
on Dec. 30, 2005. These writings will posted in perpetuity at Barbano.net
for anyone to read or use.
Memories may be e-mailed for posting at
this site. They will be added as they arrive, as will additional photos.
may also write the family at
P.O. Box 10034
Reno, NV 89510
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